Download E-books Little Me: The Intimate Memoirs of that Great Star of Stage, Screen and Television/Belle Poitrine/as told to PDF

By Patrick Dennis

Back in print eventually! From the writer of Auntie Mame: the bawdy, bestselling, bountifully illustrated autobiography of an imaginary diva whose existence is one hilarious mishap after another.

For Belle Poitrine, née Mayble Schlumpfert, the entire world's a degree and she's an important participant on it. straight away coy and coercive, with a reputation that implies "beautiful bosom" in French, she claws her approach from Striver's Row to the silver reveal. Recalling Belle's occupation, which ranged from portraying Anne Boleyn in Oh, Henry to roles in either Sodom and its sequel Gomorrah (not to say the vintage Papaya Paradise), Little Me serves up copious quanitites of husbands, couture, and crimson girl cocktails, with foreign adventures and a homicide trial to boot.

A runaway bestseller that made its option to Broadway, starring Sid Caesar in 1962 and Martin brief in 1998, Little Me is now reprinted--with the entire one hundred fifty old, hysterical photos depicting the funniest scenes from Belle's sordid lifestyles, together with cameo appearances via the writer and Rosalind Russell. thought of a collector's merchandise, the 1st variation of Little Me was once like a functionality in booklet shape. Now this glittering spoof of star is gloriously reincarnated for connoisseurs of all issues chick and cheeky.

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Read or Download Little Me: The Intimate Memoirs of that Great Star of Stage, Screen and Television/Belle Poitrine/as told to PDF

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Palmer Potter used to be not likely named Mrs. Palmer Potter in any respect. in truth, she was once no longer even married! Her institution on Prairie street was once now not a faculty in any respect yet, really, a den of the blackest iniquity, and her “students”—girls of “excellent family,” as she had defined them—were not anything yet filles de joie! It had lengthy been her customized, I discovered, to “scout” many of the railway stations of Chicago for blameless sufferers to press into bondage in her loathsome calling. I have been tragically victimized by way of this human vampire! what number different guileless younger ladies, I usually ask yourself, were so ailing utilized by destiny just because they're as pleasant and trusting as little me? My detractors have frequently accused me of being “overly normal” with strangers. possibly they're right, yet I doubt it. i've got continually had a sunny and outgoing nature, and who am I to aim to slash the traditional buoyancy with which i used to be endowed by means of the Almighty? but, as a result of my God-given heat, i used to be pressured to pay a negative price—my identify at the police “blotter” and my liberty forfeited for the following years. Of the boarding tuition the pass judgement on chosen for me, i'm nonetheless not able to talk rationally. It housed twelve hundred ladies, to a cubicle. We wore grotesque grey uniforms. lovely coiffures and risk free touches of artifice have been strictly forbidden. We marched in silent strains, by means of , to nutrition, to activity, to paintings, to chapel—even to the rest room! The nutrients was once frightful, the self-discipline insufferable, the operating hours lengthy and exhausting. simply because my darling Momma had taught me to “sew a very good seam”—as each gentlewoman then may perhaps do—I was once placed to paintings within the dressmaking division of the college the place we made uniforms, nightgowns and “undies. ” you possibly can conveniently think how exhausting a job it was once for a tender woman with my inordinate fondness for lovely issues. each time i tried so as to add a bit “friv” to the school’s costume—a larger hemline, a reduce neckline—I used to be sternly rebuked by means of the manager and compelled to undo all that I had performed to enhance the lot of my hapless classmates. i've got a common bent for layout; certainly, my very own outfits have regularly attracted vast remark. Many have stated that, if I cared to, i'll turn into a couturière of the 1st rank. notwithstanding, i've got continually been happy to take a “back seat” and layout strange creations just for my particular use. The unfeeling Justice of the Peace had prepared to have me enrolled within the boarding college until eventually i used to be eighteen years of age—an eternity to a tender lass of my excessive spirits. despite the fact that, i used to be lucky in my selection of a roommate. My little cubicle was once shared with a vivacious minx from Steubenville, Ohio, a pass over D. Winifred (“Winnie”) Erskine. “Winnie” have been booked on fees as completely unfounded as my own—shoplifting in Mandel Brothers while she had easily been taking that fur coat out onto country highway to envision it via sunlight. Like little me, “Winnie” rankled lower than the injustice of all of it. yet, in contrast to me, “Winnie” used to be much less overwhelmed and extra frankly rebellious. And it used to be she who engineered our exciting break out on New Year’s Eve of 1917.

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